we have pet lesbian snakes
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
