break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
