my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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