i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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