Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
