Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
