Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
