dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
