I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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