remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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