Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
