is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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