Me too!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
