I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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