how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize