You just made me feel so damn special
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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