apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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