Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
