I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
