I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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