It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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