Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
