i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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