Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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