I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize