The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
