mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
