I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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