oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
