i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
