My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
