I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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