you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
did i just pee glitter
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
