Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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