So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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