Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she looked like the before picture.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
