she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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