walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
