Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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