So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
