and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I AM VODKA MAN
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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