you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
