But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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