I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
