All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
