I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
