Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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