Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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