Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
