I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
