Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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