Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
