I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
