I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
