He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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