I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize