Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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