I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize