I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
