I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
