Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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