that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
