So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
