just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
